|
DUH! Ministry!
That's it! As a Junior in College,
avidly studying to complete my dual Psychology / Sociology degree
at Chapman University, a light bulb went on, actually it exploded,
in my head! I had just been to the General Assembly in Tulsa, OK.
This was a very revealing time for me as to the nature of the life
and politics of the church. I was afraid of what I saw … people
being unkind to one another, not listening to each other, trying
to trap God in a box! While I had an exhilarating experience of
faith through this General Assembly, part of the excitement was
imbedded in seeking out where God was calling this church to be,
not fixating upon where was, but what it could become through the
power of the Holy Spirit! I began thinking about all of the people
God needs to help make the church truly the church. A question came
to me out of no where (I thought), "Why not you, Suzie? What about
being a minister?"
My reply to myself, "Who me? No,
I am going to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Yes, I will continue
to be involved in the church and active in the ministry of all believers,
but ministry?! No, that was for my Dad, Grandpa and Great-Grandfather."
While at this General Assembly, 3 ministers who helped me grow in
my faith, stopped me, at varying times, to talk about my vocation,
where God was calling me to be. Each one asked me if I had considered
seminary and going into Ordained Ministry. I entertained and was
caught by these conversations that stirred my soul. Although my
soul was intrigued, I left the assembly quite content that I would
fulfill my call to ministry through a secular occupation.
Arriving back at home, something
seemed to be missing! What was it? I was making incredible grades
in my two chosen disciplines, yet it did not seem to be enough.
Then it hit me! My faith, my faith was not being adequately appropriated
into my vocational journey. Like a light bulb illuminating in the
dark, I said "Duh! Ministry! Pastoral Counseling! That's it!" And
so it began … my quest to find a seminary that matched my calling.
CTS was it! Christian Theological Seminary had the community I craved,
the education I desired and the Spirit that connected immediately
with my soul. With the blessing of family and friends back home
in California, I ventured to Indiana. Surviving 4 winters in seminary,
I grew in my faith, developed lasting relations, challenged my preconceived
notions, became enlightened and illuminated by all I experienced
there. I trusted God and that made all the difference for me.
I have continued to seek to trust
and know God in all that I have encountered. Never would I have
imagined that my life would lead me to Savannah, Georgia, wed to
a Southern Gentleman and serving a historic congregation in the
South! See what can happen when we trust God!?!! God took this little
Southern California girl, green-eyed and naïve - and called her
to ministry - who would have thought?! My Grandfather always believed,
yet I doubted. Now, I am in the position of believing in others,
even when they doubt! The biggest honor I am given as a pastor is
when one comes to me confessing, admitting, sensing that a call
has been placed within his/her heart to serve God through ordained
ministry.
No, I have never felt as if I deserved
to be God's minister. Sometimes I still doubt and question my call
to ministry. Yet, I am simply willing and that is enough. I love
people and believe in God! I always knew that wherever life would
take me that I would be in ministry. Yet, my soul was called to
devote my whole life to the church. I believe that God is at work
within the church, that God continues to seek to be alive within
the church and that there is need for many others to say "yes" to
committing fully to full-time, ordained ministry. That is a part
of my call now, to encourage others. It is not an easy calling,
yet it is a fulfilling one. Ministry is not always enjoyable, yet
it is always rewarding. The benefits of ministry are frequently
not visible, yet they are very apparent to the soul! Come, trust
God! Be God's minister and servant!
|
